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Relationship Red Flags


Does your partner…

  • Blame you for everything that goes wrong?
  • Call you names, insult you, or try to humiliate you in public, in front of your children, or when the two of you are alone?
  • Tell you that you are incompetent or stupid?
  • Call or text you constantly during the day? Demand to know where you are or who you are with? Insist that you check in frequently?
  • Try to prevent or dissuade you from seeing family and/or friends?
  • Make critical comments about your clothes or tell you what to wear or how to act?
  • Make inappropriate or critical comments about your physical appearance, friends, or family members?
  • Show up unannounced at your workplace or call you at work constantly? Otherwise interfere with your work or your education?
  • Control all of the money or insist on getting receipts for any money you spend?
  • Monitor your cell phone call history, voicemail, or email?
  • Answer phone or email messages intended for you?
  • Treat you very differently while you are out in public than when you are alone?
  • Tell you where you can and cannot go, even when the two of you aren’t together?
  • Accuse you of having sexual or romantic encounters with other people?
  • Mistreat your pets?
  • Frighten or hurt you?
  • Threaten you either with violence or other actions that will be physically or emotionally harmful to you (spreading rumors, sharing your secrets publicly, etc.)?
  • Use violence or the threat of violence to settle a disagreement, enforce “rules,” or get his/her way?
  • Force you to have any kind of sexual contact even if you have said no?
  • Blame his or her violence or abusive language on alcohol, other drugs, stress, or other external factors?

You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. If you answered yes to any of these questions, we encourage you to find people who will listen, understand, and believe you without judgment or blame. Please consider reaching out to talk to someone from a domestic abuse program who can offer assistance and support:

  • Journey to Safety: 781-647-5327, Monday – Friday, 9:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m.
  • Safe Link (the 24/7 statewide hotline): 877-785-2020
  • National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: 866-331-9474 or www.loveisrespect.org for more information and an option for a live online chat (you can choose to call, text, or chat online with a trained peer advocate)
  • A domestic abuse program in your community

Calls are free and confidential.

This program is supported by MOVA through a 1984 VOCA grant from the OVC, OJP, US Department of Justice.

For more information, call 781-647-JFCS (5327) or email your questions via our contact us page.

Supported by CJP This program is funded in part by CJP.

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781-647-JFCS (5327)
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1430 Main Street
Waltham, MA 02451
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