Waking Up to Domestic Abuse
Caring for Generations

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Waking Up to Domestic Abuse
September 7, 2012
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Posted by Elizabeth Schön Vainer and Marjie Sokoll

As we move through the Hebrew month of Elul, Jewish tradition has incorporated the sounding of the shofar each day leading up to the High Holy Days except for Shabbat. The sounding of the shofar is a call to wake us up.  As we approach Domestic Violence Awareness Month, this meaningful ritual is a reminder to wake us to the needs of many Jewish survivors of domestic abuse. During this time of year, we also have another beautiful ritual: reciting Psalm 27 every day. 

This powerful psalm – which speaks of seeking G-d’s protection in the face of evil and destruction – can be incredibly meaningful to people who are in need of help and support. For survivors of dating or domestic abuse, the approaching army and impending danger in the psalm may represent the person who has promised to love and cherish them. However, this may be the person intent on destroying their physical, emotional, financial, and spiritual well-being. Often isolated, frightened, and desperately alone, many turn to G-d in prayer. 

In Psalm 27, the psalmist asks G-d “to show G-d’s face”. In reciting the psalm, many abuse survivors may be hoping and praying that their voices will be heard, their faces seen, and their sense of safety and wholeness restored.  However, they may also be hoping to connect with people in their own communities who care. 

As a community, we have a profound obligation to respond – to show our faces to those who seek our help and support. 

One simple but significant way to reach out is to include survivors of abuse in our prayers, either throughout the year or specifically during the month of Elul and the upcoming holidays.  The Misheberach is a healing prayer, and below are some beautiful adaptations to address healing for survivors of abuse.  Acknowledging those who have survived abuse is critical, because it validates their experience and lets them know they can reach out to others. You can find examples of such prayers at Jewish Women International’s website.

Elizabeth Schon VainerElizabeth Schön Vainer is the program director of Journey to Safety, the JF&CS response to domestic abuse. Elizabeth is pleased to bring her many years of experience collaborating with multidisciplinary teams to investigate child and domestic abuse to Journey to Safety and JF&CS. She believes that only through collaborative efforts can we truly serve our clients. Elizabeth has a BSW from the University of Tel Aviv and a MS in Organization and Management from Antioch University.
Marjie SokollMarjorie U. Sokoll, MEd, Director of Jewish Life and Healing, is the founder and director of JF&CS Jewish Healing Connections, which helps ensure that people feel a sense of connection when facing the challenges of illness, loss, or isolation by offering spiritual and communal supports to provide hope, comfort, and wholeness guided by Jewish tradition. “It is not good for people to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18). Marjie also provides spiritual support for the JF&CS Parkinson’s Family Support Program, is a founding partner at the Kalsman Institute for Judaism and Health, and holds a certificate of thanatology from the National Center for Death Education.
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