Posted by Elizabeth Schön Vainer
I want to share a wonderful story from a minister who shared our Love Should Be Safe video with his congregation. He wrote to me about the impact the video had for one of his parishioners. She left an abusive husband and was considering returning to him because she missed her home and gardens and she had heard her husband had “calmed down.” But after viewing our video, this is what she sent to her minister:
“Great video! Recently, I find myself thinking of moving back to my home, which of course means moving back with my husband. Loneliness, missing living in a home, having my own yard and driveway, and so very much more tempt me to return. My biggest fear is that although my husband has "calmed" down a bit, his unpredictable, crazy anger continues to erupt at times, often, seemingly out of the blue. Now when that happens I can return to the safety of an apartment with a locked door. A great thing, but living here is NOT my home!!
Today was a particularly difficult day when I heard a conversation about the subject of forgiving and sticking it out in a marriage. I began to feel guilt and then a minister who was participating in the discussion (who is wonderful) mentioned that one needs to feel safe in order to remain in a marriage. Immediately I went in my mind to all the times I felt very unsafe, which validated my decision to leave and has caused me to rethink returning home.
Here it is a few hours later, and I receive this video. Coincidence or is this God’s way of saying to stay where I am? I believe it is God. Twice in one day I am reminded of the utmost importance of safety in a relationship.
The video is one that I will look at often. I intend on saving it. I believe it will benefit me greatly at those times when my desire to return home wants to take over. I applaud all who participated in the video.”
Elizabeth Schön Vainer is the program director of Journey to Safety, the JF&CS response to domestic abuse. Elizabeth is pleased to bring her many years of experience collaborating with multidisciplinary teams to investigate child and domestic abuse to Journey to Safety and JF&CS. She believes that only through collaborative efforts can we truly serve our clients. Elizabeth has a BSW from the University of Tel Aviv and a MS in Organization and Management from Antioch University.
Watch our video to learn why domestic abuse is a serious issue.
Read more from our Domestic Violence Awareness Month blog series.